Should I ask her out?

Growing up, I had friends asking each other out, going out with people they hardly knew, breaking up, dumping, being dumped and, maybe the saddest situation, going out with close friends that you could just see wouldn't last long and would end up permanently damaging what had been a really good friendship. I'd see friends disappear off the scene as a couple and miss out on a lot of fun stuff - experiences and friends passing them by - because they were taken up with their boyfriend/girlfriend that they would most likely dump sooner or later.

Despite seeing all this, I too thought this was the way love was done and inevitably faced the lost time and break-ups. I thank God that nothing serious happened during these short lived relationships but, even now, still have regrets for mistakes I wish I could take back.

After the last break-up, when I was 17, I made my mind up that here HAD to be another way.

I knew that God had made this promise to us all:

Delight yourself in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.
[Psalm 37:4-5]

I was no longer going to search for "the right one" myself by going out with different girls until I found someone I hoped would be "the one", at the same time hoping on the slim chance that they would feel the same way about me. Besides, if I found "the one", how would I ever really know if I was with the right person or not? I decided to live my life, enjoy the experiences of being free with the great friends God had blessed me with and wait for Him to choose someone for me. Who better to choose someone for you than God!


While getting on with my life being single I learned from the Bible and from people who I could trust, that I didn't want to end up with someone who wasn't my best friend. How could it be possible to give all my love to one person while knowing I had a better friend in someone else. This helped me to realise how valuable my friendships were and gave me the biggest clue ever to who I would end up with... my best friend!

I spent my teens and on into my 20's travelling, going to camps, Christian conferences, snowboard trips, Saturday nights out all with the best friends anyone could ask for. God blessed me with so many great memories and experiences during that time and, best of all, I don't regret meeting or spending time with any of them.

It's sad to see relationships coming and going, teens giving the best and most treasured parts of themselves to people they hardly know and probably won't be with for very long, sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, missed opportunities - lives with so much promise, filled with so much regret - when God already has our life perfectly planned out if we just trust Him and live for Him.

When God's planned time came, He was true to His promise with me. I met and married Joy... the best friend of them all.